The Library of Omar El-Mohammedi
April 7, 2014 • 4:15 a.m.
Omar El-Mohammedi had waited all evening to face the task. He’d thought to embark on the disquieting journey that lay before him in daylight, looking for the light’s solace—but he discovered again that, for him, there was no solace anywhere. So, he’d waited for nightfall to hide his heartbreak, but when the sun had set and the big window of his library had darkened, he still could not begin. For a long time, he didn’t even turn on the lamp. It was a moonless night; the blackness settled heavily over him and over his hundreds of books and desk with its scattered papers.
Omar was an old man now, in ways he had not been even a week ago. He breathed and was aware of his own breath, and how his lungs seemed to echo the creak of his leather desk chair as he shifted his weight, how every breath seemed heavier and more difficult than the last. He breathed, time passed —and he reflected that a life might be summed up in those two phrases.
At some point, his daughter, Houda, had opened the library door. He heard her whisper something to herself, but he did not know what she said. She entered the dark room uncertainly, stopping when her thigh made contact with the edge of Omar’s desk. Then, having located herself, she leaned over and turned on Omar’s reading light.
Squinting up at her, Omar knew she wanted to say something, to tell him not to sit here in the darkness, that he should go to bed, that he needed rest. Tomorrow would be monumental—the burial of his son, her brother, Nasser. But Houda respectfully held her tongue. No need to remind Baba of something so heart-wrenching. Instead, she set two small dishes on the desk in front of him—a plate of ful medames, a basket of unleavened bread. Still wearing the black of mourning, Houda seemed part of the darkness, and when she left him, Omar hardly noticed.
That had been hours ago, and now it was nearly dawn. He blinked, taking in his surroundings. Did I sleep? Who knew?
The pool of light Houda had left behind continued to illuminate the plates of food he had no intention of touching. The journal still beckoned; there was no avoiding it. Taking a deep breath, Omar raised his right hand toward the notebook and paused, noticing the trembling of his wizened fingers.
Look at you, old fool, he thought. You’ve spent a lifetime reading the most magnificent books on Earth, and now you’re frightened of a puny diary. What is this compared to the Qur'an, the Upanishads, the Bible, Das Kapital, the Iliad? Nothing, nothing at all.
And yet his hands trembled.
An old man ought not to begin a journey all alone. For him, there ought to have been only one solitary journey, one that had begun a lifetime ago, the final one. But Omar El-Mohammedi understood that it was his fate, now, at the end of his life, to begin again. So, he breathed once more and took up the notebook. Even the first line tore at his heart:
I, Nasser El-Mohammedi, child of Omar El-Mohammedi and son of no one, was born in the Library of Alexandria.
Because I am the child of my father, I was born among books. Here in the city where the modern world was created, where the greatest library humanity had ever seen was built and then destroyed, I entered the universe as if from nowhere and took up my being, shelved between theology and history. Because I was born among books, I am the son of no one.
When I was a child, the Great Library of Alexandria was the study of Omar El-Mohammedi, and my playground was his mind. Between the gentle Islam of his own upbringing and the humanism of his profession, I kicked my football and wrestled with other boys. I thrived in the sunlight of his tolerance and his intelligence, and grew strong; among the other children, I excelled. But from the time I was very young, I understood the playground Omar had created for me was only half a world. I knew the universe was made not only out of light.
My mother, Fatimah, was a strong, kind presence, yet she had a dimension she kept hidden from my father. She was not, I think, conscious that she was hiding part of herself, nor did she consciously reveal this dimension to me, but I nonetheless glimpsed it as a boy. The intelligent daughter of good people with a rigid worldview and fixed expectations, she grew up, like many women everywhere in the world, with thwarted ambitions, bruised by the heavy hand of patriarchy. She nursed angers she had learned never to express, and passions about which Omar El-Mohammedi knew nothing.
I inherited that rage and that lust for transcendence. It led me into the darkness where I upended every pebble. Under one distant stone, I uncovered a long-buried secret that would topple my father’s house of cards by bringing to light the nefarious lie behind my mother’s death . . .
I hope you’re enjoying this first chapter so far. Step deeper into Omar and Nasser’s world, and when the time is right, you can find the full novel on Amazon